What is happiness? How do we achieve happiness? Does it just simply come to us one night in our dreams? Is it a wide awakening one day when we’re waiting in line at the coffee shop? No, no it is not. I wish it was but it actually takes a weirdly, large amount of self-reflection. It also does not lie upon others. We are responsible for our own happiness. We SHARE our happiness with others, they are a part of it, they can help add to it. But they are by no means responsible for making you happy. Only YOU are responsible for that.
It takes time to understand and develop your own happiness language. You will need to experience new things and try something at least once to know if it’s a happiness factor or an unhappiness factor. The unhappiness factor is what dampens the spirit and dulls the shine you send out to the world. As if a blanket drenched in a dejected, disconnect, joyless downpour, that is making your world dark and dull. Ever been made to eat something that is utterly grotesque and feels like it just insulted your taste buds? Imagine that but on your soul, that’s unhappiness. Where you find happiness changes as you grow, you have to keep listening to the happiness language you are tuning into. Listen to the volume; when are you happiest? When are you less happy? When does your happiness disappear? These are three key volumes, everyone has them you just have to learn to channel them.
Studies show that people are happiest when they are around other people who radiate happiness. Think of a person who’s always smiling and giggling, (everyone knows that person) find a memory and remember how you felt or what emotions were conjured in that moment. Did you realise it? Aren’t YOU always smiling and giggling when you’re with them?
My happiness language didn’t necessarily change it just adapted. What made me happy as a child still makes me happy now, keeping my inner child roaming free is what made me realise that happiness is what we perceive it to be. I mean come on…I love scooping ice cream with Oreo’s, as if they are a spoon (great idea I know, try it and you are welcome!). We are told through various media throughout our lives, that at different stages we have to find happiness within different things. As an adult you can’t be happy unless you have a ‘good’, high earning job, a car, a house and a family. It’s just not possible to reach a state of happiness without these things. Bullshit! Everyone finds happiness somewhere different. Materialist possessions have suddenly started to define our views and cloud our judgement of happiness too. Happiness is not one thing, happiness is a state of being, a lifestyle. If you choose to find happiness and positivity, then happiness and positivity will find you. Your mind is a powerful tool and what you visualise and project is what comes rushing to you. Fulfilment and purpose are happiness.
Try to remember the last time you were without a shadow of a doubt, full to the brim, bursting with happiness. I will bet on my crystal ball (if I had one,) that it was who you were connecting with that made you happy. It was because you fulfilled a lifelong dream, a goal or an aim. You succeeded in finding a purpose to your being. Your soul was calm and you were listening to the good vibrations and feeling the good auras around you. There was no doubt and no second guessing. Full happiness comes like a warm ray of sunshine, a huge bear hug, encasing you in this utterly indescribable feeling of pure joy. Sadly, we often don’t realise this feeling until it has passed. The key is tuning in and listening to your happiness language to recognise this feeling, thus helping you to keep it.
There’s a quote I faintly remember: ‘If you can’t enjoy your own company, how can you expect others to?’ Well you get the gist of it. I listened to my happiness radar and found some surprising things. Being a child, not when I was an actual child, but being or acting like a child are by far my happiest moments! The whole who cares what others think, brings me a great sense of power and light. I feel relaxed and carefree. These vibes transcend to when I’m painting or playing with my nephews. These moments are my moving happiness. As extrovert as I maybe with travelling and experiencing new cultures. Got to love a good old trip away to lighten one’s mood! Or the odd tipple (hold my one sambuca shot! *cough* or ten *cough*). I came to understand that this was my getaway, from the downpours that real life brings. What I channelled was that I needed a life to fulfil my joys and wonders, not a life to escape from. I’m a traveller at heart so my sense of happiness radiates a lot from my travels and adventures.
Yet, I’m surprisingly happy and most at one when I’m being more introvert. This is my still happiness. I find peace and calm when reading alone, in my cozy little nest of a room, surrounded by many a beautiful plant and the odd cat or two. Yes, secrets out, I’m a cat lady! But I mean look at them…Satan would be so proud! I realised my happiness language through activities like meditation and yoga. They most certainly helped me when trying to interpret myself, in the aspect of its some serious awkward time alone. You get deep, down and dirty with your own thoughts. Thought that were long ago buried. But this helps to release the caged emotions and helps you read your own language. I mean come on, if you can’t speak your own happiness language how in the jiminy are you going to translate it to others?!
Basically, look deep within yourself and see what you find. You’ll be surprised at how simple happiness truly is to find. Once you find it, you’ll be addicted. Others will become attracted to your positive, glowing, down right radiating vibes of happiness, warmth and light. You won’t be happy all the time. Remember other emotions have to have a turn but HAPPINESS could be your auto pilot, go to, fail safe option. Own your happiness, translate it to others and watch it blossom.